Day 4 - Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for -

* pineapples on sale, buy one, get one free
* our favorite whole grain bread, same deal
* toothbrushes on clearance: $1 each
* Kiss My Face floride-free toothpaste on clearance: half-price
* the privilege of shopping carefully and efficiently for my family

* the enormous support a couple at our church received after their son committed suicide
* the ways in which my children share their burdens and their joys with me
* how often we laugh when we are together
* how willing they are to listen to my lectures, rants, and diatribes
* the forgiveness and restoration that are possible when I apologize to them and make amends
* my husband's hugs and assurances - "Everything is gonna work out fine, Gail. You just have to breathe. You haven't taken a deep breath in eight months. It's okay to breathe now." He's so right.

* plans for three excellent events this weekend:
1 - a jazz concert tomorrow night with a dear friend
2 - a birthday party on Saturday for the son of another dear friend
3 - a sleepover in yet another great friend's new penthouse apartment on Saturday night
* an abundance of kind, compassionate, generous, and attentive friends

* a clean bill of health from the dentist: no cavities and no evidence of the typical post-chemo dental problems
* only three more herceptin treatments and then I can get rid of this port in my chest

Sometimes I still cry when I think about this stupid kanswer thing, especially when I ponder my future. I suspect it will always bring up emotions in me. After all, this freaking thing tried to kill me, to take me down and out. Yesterday while she was cleaning my teeth, the dental hygienist asked if I am kanswer-free now. I had to wait until she pulled that really sharp tooth-scraper-thingy out of my mouth before I could answer: "The doctors say that there is no definitive test that I can take that can prove there are no kanswer cells in my body. Hence, the herceptin treatments and tamoxifen tablets." Oh how I wish I could say, "I'm in remission." Or "I'm kanswer-free" and know it to be a fact. I simply don't know.

One thing I do know for sure is this: I'm still here. I'm still here!
I'm surrounded by people who love me.
I live in a house I love with a family I love.
I go to a church I'm growing to love. (The senior pastor called two churches in Asheville, North Carolina and informed the senior pastors there that my daughter is planning to attend UNC Asheville starting in January. He called them to let them know she may visit their churches. When I thanked him for doing that, he said, "That's the best part of my job." And he said that after treating my daughter and me to lunch last Friday. How COOL is that???)
I've got travel plans. I've got teaching plans.
I've got plans to get a job of some kind when my son heads off to college.
And I've got three and a half seasons of "Breaking Bad" to catch up on.
I'm making plans for a long and happy future.

I am thankful to be on this side of kanswer and on this side of the rest of my life.
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful.
Thanks be to God.