Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Day 10 - Are there words for what I feel other than "thankful" and "grateful"?

Probably not. Certainly there aren't any other words I can think of at the moment. It is getting harder to make the list of what I'm grateful for, not because I'm running out of things I am thankful for, but rather because I'm afraid to come off as obsessed with gratitude.

That's weird to say, I know, but it's how I feel. Sure, I want to believe that I don't care what people think of me or my gratitude practice. Sure, I want to believe that I write just because I love to write and because I feel that if one person benefits from this, then it is worth it. If one person feels like they matter, like their opinion matters, their presence in the world matters, if one person feel validated, supported, heard, and loved because of me, then all of this is worth it. All of that is true.

But still. Still I don't want anyone to think I'm overthinking or overdoing the gratitude thing. Is it even possible to "overdo gratitude"? Even if it is possible, that's a pretty good thing to be criticized for, isn't it???


Tonight I'm grateful that tomorrow I'm going to Spain!!!
Yes, I'm heading back to the country where my heart feels most at home.
I was scheduled to go in December, but kanswer treatment took priority over travel.

Tomorrow soul treatment takes priority over everything else.
I plan to treat my soul, mind, body, and spirit to as much tenderness,
love, kindness, patience, joy, adventure, and trust I can manage.
I plan to wander, meander, sit, ponder, journal, read, think,
take photos, eat well - and also set aside time with no plans at all.
I will visit friends and visit myself.
I will visit museums and sit in churches.
I will weep and I will laugh.
I will celebrate the past and I will think about the future.
I will think about the past and celebrate the future.

I have a homemade,  handmade journal - and stickers, rubber stamps, markers, pens, staples, a glue stick, packing tape, stencils, and other goodies to put in it. I baked cookies to take along (don't tell my chiropractor about the sugar, okay? At least they are vegan cookies...), and I have sugar snap peas, grapes, and apples lined up to take as well. I'm planning to pick up a salad at Trader Joe's on my way out of town. I'm not expecting any stellar food on the flight, so I'm gonna take my own goodies.

"Don't go alone."

I'm not sure there are any other words to express how I feel tonight -
thankful, grateful, filled with awe, excited, nervous,
and more than a little blown away by the fact that 24 hours from now,
I will be somewhere out over the north Atlantic Ocean making my way home...

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