Saturday, July 07, 2018

LWB - at the art supply store

I went to Michael's today.
I didn't need to go to Michael's.
I already have too many art supplies.
Actually, let me rephrase that - I already have a lot of art supplies.
I'm not sure I could ever have too many.
As long as I use them, right?

Anyway, I went to Michael's because a dear friend of mine,
who will remain unnamed - (cough - Heather! - cough) -
told me that there was a sale on washi tape.
Three rolls for $1.
What???

So I was standing at the washi tape display, rifling through roll after roll,
consciously and intentionally resisting the urge to dump it all into my basket,
when a young white woman approached and began to dig through the bins as well.

Let me stop here and say that I've been struggling with anger this past week.
Actually for the past few weeks, but it has been most intense this past week.
Anger about injustice. Anger about racism. Anger about mass incarceration.
Anger about the frequency with which the police are being called
because black people are being people.
Sleeping in her college dorm common area.
Selling water near a sporting event.
Barbecuing in a public park.
Sitting at the pool in her own neighborhood.
Canvassing for political office in her area.
Carrying out a home inspection.
Checking out of an Air BnB with their suitcases.
It's ridiculous.
The crime code should be LWB - Living while black.

So, yea, I've been angry. Very angry.
And also sensitive about being black in this country at a time when
walking through my own neighborhood, pulling something out of my trunk,
putting my cell phone into my purse, and other normal activities
could be misunderstood and considered threatening.
And prompt someone to call the police on me - or my children.

So all of that was floating in my head when that young woman approached.
I took a deep breath and decided to break the ice.
I said, "Great deal, right?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, this is a great deal."
Then she gushed about how much she loves washi tape
and how she uses it all the time and
then she said she should probably just walk away because she already had so much.
I said, "Can you have too much?" She laughed.
We wished each other a good day - and then she left.
So simple. So pleasant.
Thanks be to God.

I wandered around the store a little bit more.
Then I went to the register.
The cashier was a beautiful brown skinned woman.
Was she Indian or Latinx or ...?
It doesn't matter who she was or where she was born or what her first language is
or what she believes or who she loves.
What matters is that she was outrageously kind and pleasant in her interaction with me.
She smiled and made small talk.
She looked me in the eye when she spoke to me.
When the exchange was complete, she wished me a wonderful afternoon.
So simple. So pleasant.
Thanks be to God.

I really needed both of those exchanges today.
I needed to remember that most people are pleasant and kind.
Most people don't hate other people.
Most people really want "liberty and justice for all."
It is the minority, truly the minority of people, who want to dominate others,
who want to deport everyone who wasn't born here,
who want to use violence to intimidate anyone who doesn't agree with them.
Truly a minority.


Glennon Doyle has planted a couple of phrases in my mind and heart lately.

Earlier today, I saw an Instagram post of hers in which she said she and her wife are out "waging joy." I love that. No more staying stuck in fear, despair, or anxiety. It's time for us to "wage joy."I need to get out and wage some joy myself.

She has a sign off that she sometimes uses when she writes: "in hope and fury." Again, I love that. I can live in hope. I can work for hope. I can preach about hope. I can sit with someone who is hurting and pray that hope finds its way into their broken heart. And I can also feel a deep fury at what I see and what I hear around me. And I can also be furious about how helpless and fearful so many people feel these days - myself included.

Someone said that if you're not mad, you're not paying attention.
If you're weeping, if you're broken hearted, if you're disgusted,
then you are paying attention.
If those are the criteria at the moment, then I am definitely paying attention.

Although it could easily be argued that I didn't need any more washi tape today,
I do know that I needed the two exchanges I had there.
I needed to be reminded of the gift of kindness and conversation.
I needed to be reminded - look up, see and be seen.
Make conversation.
Smile and be smiled at.
I needed to be reminded that I can be furious and also relentlessly hopeful.

There is so much work to do.
Perhaps some of that work can be done while waging joy over washi tape.
I'm about to test that theory.