Tuesday, February 19, 2008

This Is My Life Tonight.

It's 7:50 pm. In ten minutes the kids will come to my bedroom, and we will pile into the bed and watch "American Idol." We will cheer and laugh and criticize their outfits and hairdos. We will give the singers our own commentary and determine whether or not each one chose the right song.

When it's over, I will send them off to their respective bathrooms to brush their teeth and take care of their other evening customs. Then we will pray together before they fall into their normally deep and sound sleep.

Then I will settle into a short time of journaling, reading, final preparations for tomorrow's journaling class, and then I'll go to sleep. Alone.

Steve is away this week. Well, not exactly away. He's staying in a local hotel for the next few nights. No, we haven't officially separated. He's involved in a work-related conference that requires him to stay in a hotel with the rest of the team. (It's the same place I stayed in last year and wrote about on August 27, 2007: The Ballantyne Resort.) Less than ten minutes from home by car. On an ambitious morning, I could probably walk there. Anyway, he's seven minutes away. And I'm right here.

This is my life tonight.

Daniel is suffering with a cough and head cold. He's not feeling well at all. As evidence, he has asked to go to the doctor to have his achy left ear checked. Lisa Ottman knows first-hand that for Daniel to ask to go to the doctor, he must truly not feel well. So tomorrow morning I will call to see if Dr. Brockman can see him.

Kristiana has been a teenage girl today. Not disrespectful, not mean-spirited. Not uncooperative. No, none of those things. Just unsure of herself. A little sad. Morose, even. Perhaps it's hormonal. Perhaps it is just her being her: a teenage girl.

Me? I am feeling jittery, a little shaky, very much like everything and everyone is riding on me tonight. Final computer set-up issues - we got a new Dell computer tower yesterday. (As long as we have had computers in our family, I have been the one to set them up. Same with VCRs, DVD players, and all that sort of thing.) Dinner. Reading to and with the kids. Homework checks. Laundry folding (although Kristiana helped with some of that). Figuring out how I will juggle it all: getting her to her photography class by 8:30 am, then call the doctor, get him there, perhaps go see Katie at mid-day for half an hour of peaceful Lenten meditation at noon, and then get back to South Charlotte for the rest of our day. Did I mention that he wants to go to school anyway? There are classes he doesn't want to miss due to projects and assignments, but he wants to get his ear checked at some point in between those classes. Oh yeah - I teach my class tomorrow night.

This is my life tonight.
Tonight I wish I had 48 hours for this day.
Tonight I wish I didn't need to sleep.
So that I could get a lot more accomplished before morning.

But for now, I will go watch American Idol with the kids.
Journal during (and probably between) the commercial breaks.
Remember that this is my life tonight.
And give thanks. Anyway.
This is my life.
All shall be well.
All is well.


Ella said...

Gail it's truly always something. A bit like a juggling act with kids. You and Amy are "two peas in a pod" on the go all the time. I feel like a snail right now.

I hope Daniel feels better. I know how he feels on the ear. Mine is on week 4 now with that "little bug" and it's not so little as it seems according to my Doc. Lost hours and days.

The "jittery" feelings too, had those the last two weeks. I have been ordered to shut down and to stay home because so many things are out of whack my Dr's afraid I'll catch the flu.

Least too we forget about Amy. Worried sick and sick.

Peace be with you and love friend in all things.

Peace Out,


Amy said...

Oh, my, goodness, Gail. I hear you! My dad's in the hospital, my son is very sick with the flu, and the dog broke his other dew claw this morning jumping out of the car at the vet's where he's getting his teeth cleaned. And, yet ... God is good.

Lisa said...


And I wish I could be there with you to help while Steve's away.

Thanks for sharing these things. Tell Daniel I hope he feels better. My Rx is lots of water, cut way back on dairy, eat raw honey and lots of Vitamin C. Alfalfa tablets are good, too.

And for Kristiana...oh, I don't envy those teenage moments. But I know she's strong and wise and has great support from you. Give her a hug for me and say that whatever she's feeling, it's okay. Indeed, I think she's one of the coolest teens I've ever met!

And for you, my dear, know in your heart and soul that I'm thinking of you, praying for you and sending calm, positive energy your way.

What an awesome mom you are. In the midst of the messiness, your authenticity and tremendous value shine brightly through.

GailNHB said...

Ella, thanks for your kind words of support - as always. It is a juggling act, and yet I wouldn't trade this for anything right now. Even with teenage angst and pre-adolescent aches and pains, these two amazing people are my companions and buddies right now. I am so grateful for them.

Amy, you are carrying quite a load right now and are in my thoughts and prayers. Poor doggie with the dew claw problem. You are so right; God is good all the time. Even when it feels dark and cold and lonely. Even when I am not good at all. He is good.

Lisa, I will suggest and enforce the drinking of lots of water. And a cup or two of Airborne. Wish I had vitamin C around here. I'll have to pick some up. Thanks for all your love and support, my dear. It means a whole lots.

That's true for all of you who read and write and support and encourage me. Know that I do not take your presence in my life for granted. Not even a little bit. Peace, life, health, and strength to all of you.

This too, all of this, shall pass. Of that I am sure.