Two thirds of the way home!

Four down and two to go. I had an encouraging visit with my oncologist. I go armed with questions and anecdotes. He seems intrigued by the fact that I've always got a little notebook with me and often asks me, "So did we get to all of your questions?"

My blood counts are good. I've been able to maintain my weight. As much as I feel awful some days, he assured me that what I'm dealing with is not severe at all. He suggested that I continue to exercise when I am able so that I will keep my strength and feel better.

As I walked into the oncologist's office, I saw one of the woman I met last week at the Look Good, Feel Better session. She is from the country of Colombia; of course I LOVED being able to speak to her in Spanish. Turns out she sees the same oncologist as I do. How small is the world? It was great to see her. We gave each other big hugs and encouraged one another to use the make up to lift our spirits and have some fun.

Later, I had the chance to encourage one woman who was there for her first healing therapy session. I told her how I renamed it - that I don't call it chemo because it is for our healing. She liked that a lot.

Another woman who is one session behind me was struggling today, so I tried to encourage her as well. I know what it is to have a bad day or a bad few days. I am grateful to and grateful for everyone who supports and lifts me up. I'm glad I was able to return that favor today to two other sisters in this unchosen sorority.

The nurses laughed at my antics, laughed with me, called me "spunky," and complimented me on "looking cute" whenever I'm there. I may have kanswer, ladies, but that doesn't mean I have to look raggedy.

No allergic reactions to any medication today - thanks be to God!


I'm starting to think about the next round of healing - which will involve relinquishing two dearly loved parts of my body through surgery. Great memories of nursing, of lovemaking, of bras, camisoles, and bathing suits to keep ever in the forefront of my mind. Deep ideas to ponder. Deep prayers to pray. This is big stuff. These are decisions I never thought I would have to make. These are lessons I never wanted to learn. But it is all for my healing. It is all for my growth. (And, for the most part, it all sucks!)

I am reminding myself (and being reminded by others) that I am not my body.
I am not my hair. I am not my skin. I am not my appearance.
I am learning to surrender my allegiance to my vanity.
I am learning that true beauty is not measured by cup size, waist size, or hair length.
True beauty glows and flows from beneath my skin, from behind my eyes,
through my smile, and most importantly through my spirit,
my attitude, my faith, and the peace that passes all understanding.

I'm turning for home, folks. Turning for home.
Four healing therapy sessions down and two to go.
For that I am enormously grateful.
Once again, thanks be to God.
And to each of you. Every single one of you.