Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Thankful Tuesday...

Tonight, I am thankful -

* my husband and daughter's hard work last night in making a magnificent New Year's Eve feast for me
* they cleaned the kitchen when they were done
* all I had to do was sit and eat
* sparkling apple cider at midnight
* dancing to Pitbull just after midnight

* rain
* a cozy, safe, warm house
* warm showers on chilly days
* taking down our Christmas tree and decorations
* leaving our candle lights in the window

* college bowl games
* laughing at the silly names attached to those games by their corporate sponsors
* doing yoga while watching football
* my niece's university's football team won the Rose Bowl today - Go Stanford Cardinal! (I love you, Liz!)

* being challenged to change the way I think about and use money
* acknowledging that I worry about money a lot
* admitting to myself that my fears are unwarranted but persistent nonetheless
* being reminded that I can do something, many things to break the grip of my fear
* remembering that perfect love casts out fear

* looking forward to facing and overcoming several challenges this year
* knowing that I am not alone in facing these challenges
* being assured that I am never alone, never have been, and never will be
* the buckets of tears and hours of prayer that were part of the journey that got me to this place

* sitting on the couch with my head on my daughter's shoulder
* sitting in my son's bed, talking, laughing, watching television with him
* listening to my two children talking to each other, enjoying each other's company
* how rapidly and how slowly these past 19+ years of motherhood have flowed through, over, and around me

* raw, organic kombucha
* sea salt and olive oil on fresh salad
* clementines from Spain and sweet potatoes from North Carolina
* filtered, alkaline water
* raw almonds
* trader joe's vanilla joe-joe cookies

* being almost half way through my healing therapy (next Monday is my 3rd of 6 sessions!)
* no longer missing my dreadlocs
* fascination rather than fear as I watch my hair fall out
* embracing the beauty and ease of baldness
* learning lessons about my body, health, nutrition, hydration, exercise, and more on a daily basis

* deciding to not let kanswer be the tipping factor in every decision I make in 2013
* deciding to let love, joy, peace, wisdom, compassion, faith, and courage motivate me instead
* doing what Jen Gray told me: focus on exquisite self-care
* doing what so many of you told me: keep writing, keep blogging, keep telling my story
* making plans to eat, drink, laugh, dance, be grateful, move my body, use moisturizer on my chapped hands, wear only things I love, stop saving my best journals, stickers, pens, and jewelry for some unknown future time - and be merry every day

* filling journal pages with my own writing and print outs of the writings of people who inspire me
* rereading my journals and scrolling through photographs from last year
* being reminded of what a blessed, painful, confusing, beautiful, frightening, and full year 2012 was
* a new calendar, a new year
* being confident of hope and a future

* coming to a place of peace, deep peace
* basking in the love of God even when I don't understand what God is doing and not doing
* thinking, speaking, writing, knowing, and believing: All shall be well.

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