I recognize that I am standing on holy ground.
When I look up and notice that people around me are attempting to capture their lives in their own unique way just as I am seeking to capture my own, I recognize that I am not alone in this place where I am standing.
On those days, I recognize and am profoundly grateful for how blessed I am.
Indeed.
But on some days, days like today, my words are misunderstood,
as though I have spoken or written them in a foreign tongue.
On days like that, like today, every step I take, no matter how gingerly attempted,
lands on the tenderest nerve endings of someone else's already-tender psyche,
(and it is always someone dear that i clumsily injure...)
I wonder how hard it will be to buy a first-class ticket,
book passage on a one-way journey,
and disembark in an undisclosed port,
never to be heard from again.
I have my alter-ego's name picked out already.
My bags are nearly packed.
Fare thee well, one and all.
Bon voyage.
4 comments:
Gail, I thought of that one way ticket many times. I thought who would care or miss me if I was gone. And then I thought could I run away from myself. And really no matter what I renamed myself, I would still be Lori. No running and hiding from that. And you will still be Gail.
Although it sure would be cool to fly first class all the time. Blessings to you, Lori
You've no idea the number of times I've just wanted to chuck everything and go live in a simple little house and do humanitarian work (and why am I NOT doing this?). Maybe my name would be Runlike Thewind.
I love the reflexology chart. I'm a huge believer in that practice!
Beautiful post, Gail. Lots think about...and you said so many things that resonate. My father said something to me once that has stuck with me: "You can't always avoid hurting people, and you can't always avoid being hurt." I think it's the stuff of being human - being susceptible and vulnerable to our emotions, trying to do good, trying to be good, trying trying trying all the time. What's frustrating sometimes (but perhaps ultimately liberating) is the fact that we just can't control everything - not people, not events, not even the state of our hearts.
I wish you a safe and rewarding journey with your daughter. And much light and love from my little corner of the world.
I remember going to Cancun to "party" with a bunch of friends. I ended up spending a lot of time walking the sandy beaches and wondering why I was not living in a palapa and just dreaming my life away in peace. The "no worries" lifestyle would be so easy, wouldn't it? But where would our purpose lie? I suppose being misunderstood and the thoughts that come out of that are eventually far more beautiful than the serenity and solitude of a sandy beach.
I'm so glad I asked for your info at BlogHer. I knew there was a reason I needed to meet you. Your words here are so beautiful...
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