Wednesday, April 03, 2013

"It's all in me..."

That's the second line of a song that I know only two lines of.
The first two lines are: "I'm every woman... It's all in me."

I think we spend a lot of our time wallowing in self-pity.
I know that I do - especially during these past four months.
"No one knows the trouble I've seen.
Nobody has any idea what my life is like,
all that I must endure, all that I suffer,
my aches and pains.
Nobody has ever had a husband/children/parents/boss/siblings
kanswer diagnosis/bald head/numbness/tiredness quite like mine.
Nobody. Ever. Never has, never will.
Woe is me. Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!"
(I'm sure you get the picture.)

Yesterday as my husband and I sat waiting to see the surgeon, we started talking about husbands and how difficult they can be. (Yes, Steve was agreeing with me.)
He said, "I'm sure you wives sit around talking about us a lot, saying things like,
'My husband is an ass.'  'That's true, but my ass is bigger than your ass.'
I added, "Does my ass look big in his pants?'"
We both cracked up... laughing way too loudly for a surgeon's waiting room.
I'm glad we haven't lost our sense of humor.

Back to my self-pity party: I am right. You are right.
No one knows the specific troubles I've seen
or the ones you've seen.
We each face our own unique set of trials, tribulations, difficulties, and challenges.
We all cry ourselves to sleep on occasion.
Each of us. All of us.
For some of us, that is a daily, a nightly experience.

If you are going through the valley of shadows and I'm going through it too, then today's theme song fits, doesn't it?

"I'm every woman. It's all in me."

fear and courage
doubt and faith
hope and hopelessness
gratitude and discontentment
strength and quivering knees
laughter and mourning
openness and secrecy
positive attitude and bitchiness
stillness and restlessness
patience and quick irritability
curiosity and disinterest
loyalty and infidelity
joy and bone-weary sorrow.

I am the mother and the childless one.
wife and single woman
sister and only child
daughter and orphan
friend and loner
writer and silent one
teacher and student
geek and drop out
dancer and wallflower
kanswer patient and woman in perfect health
frustrated wife and blissful newlywed
adoring mother and he exhausted Mom who wants to push them out of the nest
follower of Christ and follower of my own doggone self.

Every emotion. Every longing.
Every dream. Every nightmare.
Every disappointment. Every celebration.
Every woman. Every man. Every child.
It's all in me.
It's all in you.

1 comment:

Kate S said...

amen! I love this, Gail, truly beautiful piece.