I have a confession to make.
I've been scared a lot lately. Really scared.
Scared of the weather - tornadoes, thunderstorms, drought, floods, wildfires, earthquakes - and that's just here in North Carolina.
Scared of the growing water stain in our family room ceiling. We've contacted our plumber many times, but he's too busy at the moment.. for the past five months.
Scared of what's happening in our country and Gaza and India and Haiti and Sudan and Ukraine and beyond.
Scared of the tariffs and tax cuts and tax hikes and cuts to Social Security and the ongoing onslaught of overwhelm.
Scared for immigrants and LGBTQIA+ folks and poor people and international university students and all the federal workers and farmers and researchers and professors who have lost their jobs.
I've been scared a lot lately.
But not only that, I've been grateful.
Grateful for the big ways and the small ways that thousands of us, millions of us, are stepping in and speaking up and welcoming and protecting and loving on the folks being pushed and pulled and deported and disrespected.
Grateful for the friends and companions on my life journey who have told me over and over that they've got me, so I don't have to be so scared all the time.
Grateful for the text messages and phone calls and FaceTime calls filled with photos of happy babies and people in love and delicious food and beautiful cocktails and outstanding outfits.
Grateful for the folks who repeatedly remind me that this is a long haul we're on, and that, ultimately, we will win. Because Love wins. Because the people, united, will never be defeated. Because hatred and fear and oppression and injustice are not and do not have the last word.
I've been scared a lot lately.
But not only that, I've been hopeful.
Hopeful because of all the work being done to feed the hungry, here and abroad, to care for the sick, to visit the imprisoned, to reunite split families, to house the unhoused, and to come up with more ways to do all of the above, more and more.
Hopeful because, despite the rise in violence, hatred, and fear-mongering, grace and mercy and love are still on the loose.
Hopeful because preachers are still proclaiming messages of defiance and courage and faith and hope.
Hopeful because my family is so good and so loving and so funny and so kind - and we aren't done with any of that yet.
Hopeful because who am I and what am I and how could I live without hope?
Yes, I've been scared a lot lately.
But not only that, I've been surrounded by love.
I lost three people dear to me in the span of six weeks - my mother-in-law, a sister-in-law, and a friend I'd known for more than 25 years. Deep sorrow. Deep grief. And also so much love. So many messages of support and tenderness. So many reminders to let my tears flow and ALSO let my love for them flow along with the tears.
I've been held up by love. I've been hold close by love.
I've been reminded that Love is the only way we are going to get through all that we are facing now.
We have to love ourselves and our closest companions personally and persistently.
We have to love our communities by speaking up and acting up for righteousness, justice, and peace.
But not only that, we have to love those who think they are our enemies. As Valarie Kaur says, we have to be willing to be curious enough about them, their lives, their stories, their fears, their worries, and their yearnings. And then we have to find ways to love them towards their own wholeness and healing - which leads to our collective wholeness and healing.
Is that easy? Nope.
Do I know exactly how to do that? Nope.
Am I doing that on a consistent basis? Nope.
But this I do know - I've been scared a lot lately.
And I'm sick of being scared all the time.
I'm sick of being nervous all the time.
And the only consistent way for me to shake myself loose from the grip of fear is by finding something or someone for which to be grateful.
Finding something or someone that renews my hope.
Finding something or someone to love.
By doing what I can, in my lane, in my sphere of influence, to live and share Good News.
What about you?
Are you scared a lot these days?
What's your "not only that"?
