tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732975.post4093207884052525267..comments2024-01-17T04:05:54.079-05:00Comments on my life's journey: 30 Stories in 30 DaysGailNHBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632210289246687829noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732975.post-18858279393582448122010-10-07T11:04:59.208-04:002010-10-07T11:04:59.208-04:00Jessica, thanks so much for your comment, for shar...Jessica, thanks so much for your comment, for sharing your story. This faith and marriage thing isn't easy, is it? But there is much learning to do, much growing, and much to be said about faith, not only in God, but also in my husband to learn and grow in his own way.<br /><br />My husband and I both grew up in "Christian" homes - he grew up in the Catholic church and I grew up in the Baptist church. As a married couple, we have always attended church regularly - mostly because I insisted and because we are a homeschooling family so church was a great place for them to socialize with people who believed what we believed. A few in-depth discussions with other folks from church and even things said from the pulpit made it clear to us that, in fact, we were not among people who believed what we believe - at all - and it was time to make a change. <br /><br />So this past summer, I decided after much debate and internal strife, that I needed to take a break from church. My husband had made that decision gradually over a couple of years, and I admit that I worried about "his faith journey" and whether or not he was _______ - "living up to my standards of what his faith life needed to look like" is what it really came down to. <br /><br />Since stepping down and away from church, I have never felt happier or more at peace in my relationship with God and His Word. I have felt a lightness and freedom that I didn't expect - at all. I still maintain contact with church friends and attend once a month or so, but not with any desire or yearning to be there on a regular basis. I am part of a fantastic group of women who get together every two weeks to talk and pray and read through a book that is challenging us to be more like God. I'm not at all sure what the future holds in terms of church membership, but I don't miss the "Sunday morning go to meeting" thing very much at all. <br /><br />Nowadays, I am able to see and sense how thoroughly indoctrinated I was in church rules and regulations. I keep hearing the voices of stern pastors who warn me of heresy and the danger of not being a regular church attendee, of "going it alone." (I am soooooo not alone. I feel more connected and surrounded to people of faith and even those outside our church now than ever.) I keep worrying about what "they" must think when they look up and don't see me there. Whoever "they" are...and "they" may not even notice. My husband keeps saying, "Who cares what they think?" (In truth, when I talk to church people about our choice, many of them wish they could step down and out for a while. Many complain about their churches far more than I ever did, but cannot imagine living any other way. I understand completely - but I also began to imagine a new way. And it feels fantastic - at least for now.)<br /><br />My husband and I talk more about faith and church and God now than we ever did when we were going to church. I had no idea he felt so strongly about so many of these issues - or that he had such wisdom and insight. Go figure... It's great to get to know him on a spiritual level in this new, non-regimented way.<br /><br />Thanks, Rachelle, for your wise words and encouragement to give each other space and trust each other to walk our faith journeys separately but equally and together.GailNHBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11632210289246687829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732975.post-85639879718065342752010-10-06T11:03:18.106-04:002010-10-06T11:03:18.106-04:00Rachelle,
I really enjoyed this post! Dan and I h...Rachelle,<br /> I really enjoyed this post! Dan and I have a "mixed-faith" marriage as well. We also both come from Judeo-Christian backgrounds, but while I find myself at home in the contemplative traditions and in poetry, Dan is currently as close to atheist as you can get, but will probably end up Catholic one of these days. In the first year of marriage it really bothered me, mostly because of all the language around "the closer you grow to God the closer you grow together" that various chapel speakers and Christian books on marriage throw out. But we learned very early on that we didn't need to believe the same things, like you pointed out, we just needed the other to trust us and listen to our thoughts and experiences. I think it has actually forced me to be intentional about my spirituality in way that having someone who believes the same things wouldn't. And I think it has also enabled me to be way more open to people of different faiths and spiritual practices in general. <br /><br />Great question Gail!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com