It's My Party

Today is my 47th birthday. I have take time this day to celebrate, to give thanks, to look back and look ahead.

I took the kids to Starbucks for a drink this morning.
We talked and laughed - my children make me laugh hard, even in public.
Then a quick trip to CVS.
Then a stroll through Trader Joe's.
(Don't panic, folks. Supermarket shopping is one my greatest pleasures. So I had a blast.)

One friend came over for a visit - bearing gifts and wrapping me in her loving arms.
(Love you, Gibbs.)
Two other friends came over - bearing dinner, cupcakes, and their joyful presence.
(Love you too, Ruth Ellen and Thold. Dinner was delicious!!!)

I opened a few thoughtful gifts before we ate a delicious meal of ravioli, salad, and warm bread.
I am happy. I am grateful. I am filled with joy for these first 47 years of life I have had.
I am indeed a happy birthday girl.


I am also a very sad birthday girl because 20 children and 6 adults were gunned down in an elementary school in the hometown of my dearest friend. It appears that the gunman also killed his mother.

What the hell is wrong with us?
How does this type of tragedy keep happening in our country?
I am speechless.
Dazed and confused.
Horrified.
Angry.
Incredulous.

Baffled as to why anybody needs to own automatic or semi-automatic assault weapons. Nothing and no one can convince me that our "right to bear arms" should include those weapons of mass destruction. No one would ever use such a weapon to kill deer or wild turkeys. No one. Period. Those weapons are purchased and used exclusively to kill people. Which is exactly what happened yet again - in an elementary school.

Indefensible.
Indescribable.
Inconceivable.

Unfathomable.

Unconscionable. 

Unimaginable.

Unspeakable.

Why? 

Why?

Why?

It's my party, so I am gonna celebrate my life tonight.

I will journal. I will look at photos. I will spend time with my husband and children.

There will be cupcakes, cheesecake and key lime pie consumed before I go to bed.

I may even have a glass of something alcoholic...

(I'm definitely off the kanswer-fighting diet tonight!)

It's my party and I can cry if I want to.

I will certainly mourn the lives of those precious children

and the adults who were taking care of them 

at the time of their tragic deaths. 

May God have mercy on the families of those whose lives were lost.

May we keep those broken-hearted families in our thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks to come.

May we be ever mindful of the horrors of this day as we make the difficult decisions that must be made to reduce the chances of this kind of tragedy being repeated in the future.