Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I ask myself many questions these days...

Do I complain a lot when God gives me good things?
Do I forget to say thanks to my friends when they love and support me?
What would it take for me to trust that someone else, Someone Else knows better than I do what is best for me?
Do I accept that even the things I think are boring or inexplicable or not my "cup of sangria" are worth my attention and effort?

I love my kids. But they are doing far more complaining than I would have expected on this trip. Sure they are out of their element, but so am I. Sure, it´s not our house or our way of life, but so what? Try something new. Taste something new. Take a nap. Spain has lasted for many more centuries than the USA with its siesta habit. Take a load off. Rest. Relax. And stop questioning me all the time.

The good thing about our time here (well, one of many good things) is that I have lots of time to listen to them, to watch them. No big house to clean. No cars to drive. No classes to prepare for and teach. Just me and them. In a tiny apartment, cooking over a tiny stove, sleeping in one room. And with everything they say, every question they ask (the good ones and the sarcastic ones), with every discovery they make, I try to hear myself in their words. I try to see this amazing country through their young eyes. I try to imagine what this place would have looked like for me as a young child.

And I wonder how much better I could be in how I accept what my Heavenly Father gives to me. Do I give thanks? Do I expect more? Do I look over His shoulder for the next great thing around the corner, the next ice cream cone, the next trip to the amusement park?

If so, sorry, Lord. And thanks.
And thanks to all of you for reading this, for supporting me.
For encouraging me.
Thanks a lot.
Hasta pronto from Madrid, Gail

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